Feminism Gone Wild: Sexual History Shouldn’t Matter in a Marriage

As Salaam Alaikum,

Fox News is reporting that in France there was a marriage between Muslims that was annulled because the woman was not a vigin:

The annulment of a young Muslim couple’s marriage because the bride was not a virgin has caused anger in France, prompting President Sarkozy’s party to call for a change in the law.

The decision by a court in Lille was condemned by the government, media, feminists and civil rights organizations after it was reported in a legal journal on Thursday.

The case, which had previously gone unreported, involved an engineer in his 30s, named only as “Mr. X,” who married “Ms. Y,” a student nurse in her 20s, in 2006.

The wedding night party was still under way at the family’s home in Roubaix when the groom came down from the bedroom complaining that his bride was not a virgin. He could not display the blood-stained sheet that is traditionally exhibited as proof of the bride’s “purity.”

The husband went to court the following morning and was granted an annulment on the grounds that his bride had deceived him on “one of the essential elements” of the marriage. The woman then acknowledged that she had led her groom to believe that she was a virgin when she had already had sexual intercourse. She did not oppose the annulment.

Critics ran out of superlatives to condemn what they depicted as a dangerous aberration. Valérie Létard, Minister for Women’s Rights, said that she was “shocked to see that today in France the civil law can be used to diminish the status of women”.

Requests for annulments have risen sharply to nearly 2,000 a year in France, but experts could recall no case involving non-virginity. source

Now the only thing that I find repulsive about this situation is that it appears that the family still believes that you can predict a woman’s virginity by the tearing of the hymen. This sort of tradition has lead to the oppression of women and even the death of many! Some hymens are really “strong” and do not tear easily, on top of that there are plenty of women who have torn their hymen during other activities, such as stretching, sports, etc, etc. BUT I would like to say, being the sceptic, that this article doesn’t really make it clear if the “sheet” ever, in anyway, existed. Are they just trying to apply that to them because of other backward stories that have involved bloody-less sheet? And WOW, are these people, during thier wedding parties, really having sex with the family and friends downstairs? WHOA.

But as far as I am concerned the only thing that bothers me about this story is some sort of “test”.

I can’t really find any outrage over a man divorcing his wife because she LIED about her sexual history. Yes, she did. Now I would be upset if a man married a woman who he knew wasn’t a virgin, and then divorced her over this reason. But is it really wrong for a man to divorce a woman because she wasn’t a virgin, when it is discovered that he was decieved? I don’t think so.

In my head I like to think of myself as a feminist because I care about uplifting the social and economic status of women, but I’ve never been a part of any organized system or any specific version of it so I too am a sceptic of this very fanatical sort of feminism that clearly dismisses one’s sexual history as if sexual partners have no right to know about it. Let’s think about AIDS people.

These same feminist would be upset if it was socially OK for men to screw as many people as they like and then pass as a virgin, decieving their wives.

I hate to sound like an elitist, but I just can’t find how any person who believes that lying is wrong and one should remain a virgin before marrige would think that his reason for divorcing her is crazy.

Is virginity really no longer an issue even in Western society? Does no one value it anymore? I don’t believe so, this is why I believe that these feminist, and anyone else who thinks that is wrong, are really out of touch and represent something fanatical!

I mean sure, there is a whole lot of OPEN fornication in Western society… but just because someone does something it doesn’t mean that they don’t value the other— it’s just that something has become more socially acceptable. I mean you can find many fornicators who often wish that they’d remain a virgin, and many of them go as far as saying that their actions is do to “weakness”. So even amoung fornicators, i would bet, that there are is a really good portion of them that do value and understand the whole concept of “virginity” and don’t actually think of it as a 14th century way of life before marriage.

I mean we can all examine this case and really get into a ”what does it mean” conversation…. You know, how are women treated when it comes to sex in this community? Are they allowed to be sexual beings? Are they forever labeled as a “whore” if they fornicated just once, which happened to happen 35 years ago, but the community clearly remembers it? Are they even labeled a “whore” if they dared approached their husbands for sex? Sure, that could reveal a big picture. But still, I can’t be mad at a man who was lied to.

I mean I’m not saying that virgintiy is the deciding factor for me when it comes to starting or ending a marraige. BUT I do understand that are some people who are virgins who would like marry a virgin. Now as for once having been married, and you still want a virgin? That’s greedy, and matter of fact I DO have a problem with that. There are many divorced people out there, so you do’t have to settle for a fornicator. High standards are not neccesarily good standards.

And yes people, I am going to label this as a Islamophobic… something I don’t use often at all. Muslim valuing virginity, how awful!

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